One Size Fits All…ALL of WHAT????

To any Gentlemen reading please accept my apologies as this is mostly a women’s issue. You all can open another window and browse. Unless you think by reading this you might find some insight into your wife or girlfriend. If so do read on…More…

My rant today (time to change HRT patch) is about women’s clothing that is labeled One Size Fits All and the fact men’s clothing doesn’t seem to be labeled as such. Also, have you noticed men seem to have less of a size issue than women…there are men’s clothing stores named Big and Tall? But I don’t think a Short and Fat shop for women would fly….we have names like Lane Bryant. Our larger sized clothing is called Plus sizes giving the illusion we are getting something extra…a bonus. Women like free stuff! A gift with purchase….the only gift we are getting is enough fabric to cover our…you know. Assets….

One Size Fits All…ALL of WHAT????

Now back to this One Size Fits All ah garbage…what lunatic came up with that concept? If you say ALL you are implying more than most, right? That EVERYTHING will be included in this ALL. Someone didn’t do their homework to find out the majority of women in the US are size 14 and up. And the average size 14 women couldn’t get the One Size Fits All top to cover their “part” let alone their “all”. I find this upsetting…misleading and well…mean! How many of you ladies out there have picked up a top that is One Size Fits All …you hold it up and think…ok, that will fit. You take it back into the fitting room…undress and try to wiggle it down over your head…getting it caught on your earring…half way down…arms up like you are having a Halleluiah moment knowing your only way out is to cry out for help for a saleslady to save you from this humiliating situation to ask you, “Do you need a bigger size?” You thank her for untangling you and try to block out of your memory the fact you really should have NOT warned your old bra but at the time you did not plan on flashing the entire Ladies department in Target and whisper, “Ah no it was a One Size Fits All.” She tries to make you feel better with, “They run small.” And you say, “I run big…”

Ok…It is hard enough for a woman to shop for clothing what with all ALL the departments…Juniors, Misses, Women…Men have one department…Men’s Clothing. You, men, need a new shirt you go into Men’s Clothing and pick it out by small, medium or large if casual or neck size if dress….short sleeve or long. Simple…non- complicated. A woman has to know if she is a Jr. large, misses’ medium or women’s small as any one size is completely different in each department. And then that wonderful One Size Fits All thrown in there to really make a women’s body image crash and burn. We also need to stress about and take into consideration monthly bloating, tucked in or not tucked in when worn, the message being sent (sexy or business), not to mention all the styles…we are talking racks and racks full of shirts!

One Size Fits All…ALL of WHAT????

Maybe the One Size Fits All just got me started as I really have issues with the whole of women’s clothing in general. All this came about because I made the stupid decision to shop for a new semi-dressy modest dress to take to New York with me. A little background sharing here for a moment…I use to be a size 10-12 about a year ago…but due to many issues (one being I eat) I am now a size…well not 10-12. Ok…so in the world of Women’s clothing I start off with a disability…I am NOT an anorexic which seems to be the model being used for ALL sizing and designs today. (Again talking women’s clothing only as in the men’s department there are racks of football jerseys labeled up to size XXXXXL that a family of 6 could use as a tent) So I (with my 16-year-old daughter in tow) stop in a few shops to browse and see what they have…here is where I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (when she was still dressed like the hooker) when the salesladies turned their noses up to her and said, “We don’t have anything for your kind here.” My daughter pulled a cute dress off a rack and said, “Look mom maybe they have this in your size.” I held it toward the saleslady and asked, “Do you have this in a size 14-16?” She looked at me and said without expression, “We only go to size 12 here but Dress Barn down the street has Plus sizes.” Here’s that Plus sizes again and Dress Barn is better translated to “Dresses as big as Barns”. At that moment I wanted to ask her forgiveness for having ever eaten ANYTHING in my life (what I really wanted to do was hold her down and force feed her a candy bar) but I left with my daughter walking behind me saying, “You are too old for that style anyhow mom.” Oh, THAT helped!

We found Dress Barn and did feel a bit more comfortable “with my own kind” and soon had a pile of dresses picked out to try on. Sadly what I found was most dresses in my size looked like dresses my near-sighted color blind great grandmother would wear…large flower prints in the lilac color of Easter grass. I settled on a black pant suit….